What was it about the Yanks that my old dad used to say during the war? That's right. They're overpaid, over sexed and over here.Well nothing much has changed.
Except now they're overpaid, overplanted and all over the world.
And not just ordinary wheat.
Oh, no. This is obscenely-subsidised wheat.
Give or take a few dollars, US wheat subsidies exceed the total value of the Australian wheat harvest.
Put that on top of the heavily-subsidised EU grain (and meat, and milk and everything else) and the rock-bottom price wheat pouring through the Black Sea ports and you can understand why the world is drowning in the stuff.
And why the price stays low.
Now those goddam Septic Tanks have announced their biggest wheat plantings since 1997.
That mightn't sound long ago, but it is actually 15 years.
So it's been a fair old while since so much of that unfair competition hit the market - if that were possible.
President Obama is declaring he is going to end - or at least curtail - US agricultural subsidies.
In a country teetering on the verge of bankruptcy that would make some sense.
But nothing in American politics, you may have noticed, makes much sense.
Americans cannot provide health and education services to their people, but boy, can they spend some serious cash on vote-getting subsidies and military hardware.
Cutting subsidies might seem like a good idea to Obama - and you and me. And anyone with half a brain (which includes your average American).
But the senators and congressmen and women from the rural states will fight like wildcats to defend their constituents (and their seats and their pensions) regardless of whether it is good for their country, or the world economy.
If you think we've got problems with Labor governments - you know, like the recession we had to have, and the carbon tax we weren't going to ever have - still count your blessings you live here.
We might have sunburnt country and flooding rains, usually all at the same time, and like all the "developed" countries our healthy slice of developed corruption and bureaucratic bungling.
But there is nothing like the bargaining type of government, at so many levels, as the Yanks endure.
Old Whacker has no doubt if you tried to add that into the mix here the wheels would very quickly fall off.
How the Septics have managed to rule the roost for so long amazes me.
How the Chinese plan to pull it off with their legendary endemic corruption still fascinates me.
But the biggest planning we need right now is how to return Australian wheat as a marketing force to world markets.
We no longer have the clout (and/or corruption) of the old AWB.
So how far will our fractured marketing opportunities and small, globally speaking, surplus production get us?
It is a question which has so concerned me I am glad we are mostly running sheep and cattle.
Those are markets where we are major players.
And red meat protein is a growing market.
As for my grandchildren, well they are also growing, but I do have concerns about what markets will still be there for them.